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The lazy script never tries to crank up any real mystery or tension in the plot. Ponch and Jon are such self-absorbed jerks that it's inconceivable that they would ever be allowed to be policemen. And his business partners are worried that the company is falling apart as a result.
Jon is a former hotshot off-road motorbike champ who has broken every bone in his body and has only joined the police to try to win back his estranged, monstrous wife Kristen Bell. Instead, the film is just a series of smutty jokes and incoherent stunt sequences, plus running gags that never reach a punchline. Firstly, the film ignores the capitalisation that would make sense of the title. It's safe to say their relationship is a tense one. Which might not be a bad idea if the gross-out comedy was funny and the action was even remotely thrilling.
But they don't know that Howard is also considering attending a grief counselling meeting run by Madeleine Naomie Harris. This makes all of the characters resolutely unlikeable.
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It's a slickly made movie with a first-rate cast, but occasional glimpses of gritty honesty aren't quite enough to counteract sudsy philosophising that sounds profound but is actually rather shallow. All of this is infused with relentless sexism, as the camera leers shamelessly at every woman. And there are a number of revelations and twists that feel annoyingly hokey.
In addition to their scenes with Howard, each of the three actors has an impact on the colleague who needs their specific gifts. They and the people of their island Ninjago face a terrible threat in the form of the war-mongering villain Garmadon - who also happens to be Lloyd's father. Mirren, Knightley and Latimore have a sparky edge as the story's catalysts. But he's such a high-energy idiot that he's starting the job on probation. While Norton, Winslet and Pena bring some raw, honest emotion to their own personal dramas.
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